How to make new friends in college as an upperclassman
If you know your way around campus but still wish you had someone to get lunch with, making new friends in college as an upperclassman can feel awkward. Start with people you already see, make a clear invitation, and give yourself chances to spend time together.
Your junior or senior year may include a new major, a move off campus, or friends whose plans no longer match yours. You can build new friendships from where you are now, even if your first few years looked different from what you hoped.
You can make friends in college as an upperclassman
It is not too late to make friends in your junior or senior year. A class, campus job, or shared hobby can introduce you to someone you have not met yet. You also have people you recognize but have never talked to beyond a quick hello.
Later in college, you may have fewer chances to meet by accident. Friends live farther apart, class schedules change, and work takes up more of the week. That means finding a time to talk may take a clear plan.
A full friend group can feel like a big goal. Start with one person you enjoy talking to. Some friendships grow into groups, and some stay one-on-one.
If your circle changed after a falling-out, dealing with a college friendship breakup may need its own time. You can miss an old friend and still be open to meeting someone new.
Start with places already in your week
Your major gives you a few places to start. Talk with someone before a seminar, ask a classmate about the reading, or join a study session for a shared course. If you work on campus, a break with a coworker may give you time to talk beyond the shift.
For a club, choose an activity you want to do even before you know anyone. A book club, volunteer shift, art group, or game night gives you something to share on the first visit. In Bryn Mawr's student account of friendship, an upperclassman describes how clubs help her stay connected beyond her major and dorm.
Check the club's current meeting details and whether new members can join. If walking in alone is the hard part, ask the organizer where to meet and what happens at a first visit. You can ask to be introduced to someone when you arrive.
Try a group more than once if you like the activity and feel welcome. A quiet first meeting gives you limited information. On the next visit, you may already know a name or have a question about what you did last time.
Make room for friends as a commuter or transfer
If you commute, plans between classes may fit your day better than another trip to campus. Look at a gap you already have. A lunch break or library visit can give you time with a classmate before you head home.
Be clear about your ride or work schedule when you make plans. You might say, “I have time for lunch before my bus. Want to sit together?” A plan with a clear end can work for both of you.
If you transferred, ask student services about transfer meetups, peer programs, or groups in your major. Check who can join; some campus events focus on first-year students, while others welcome all years. Being a junior on paper does not mean you already know how this campus works.
If you study online, look for a course study group or a student event held online. Keep class questions in the class space and ask before moving a chat to personal messages. Your starting point can fit the way you attend school.
Ask a question you want answered
“How are your classes?” is a fine start. If the answer is “busy,” you can follow with, “Which class are you enjoying this term?” That gives the other person something specific to talk about.
Other options include “How did you choose this major?” or “What have you been into outside class lately?” A book, show, or hobby may give you something in common. Share a little about your own interests too, so the talk goes both ways.
You do not need to use every question in one conversation. Follow the part that interests you and let the topic move. This is a chat, not a surprise interview.
If someone gives short answers or needs to leave, let the conversation end. Next time you meet, a hello is enough to see whether they want to talk.
Be the one who initiates
After a good conversation, suggest a plan with a place and time. “Want to get lunch after class on Wednesday?” gives the other person something they can check against their day. Choose a public spot and a cost you are both comfortable with.
You can also reach out to someone you liked in a past class. Research on reaching out to friends found that people tend to underestimate how much a check-in is appreciated. That finding is about people already in your social circle, so it fits a former classmate more closely than a stranger.
An example text is: “Hey, I liked talking with you in our class last term. Want to catch up over coffee this week?” You can ask without sending a full explanation of why you have not talked lately.
If they cannot make it but offer another day, you have a plan to work with. If they say no or leave repeated invitations unanswered, give them room. Over time, look for shared effort, such as asking about your day or suggesting the next plan.
Plan the next hangout while it is still fresh
If you enjoyed lunch, say so before you leave. You can suggest eating together after the same class next week. A repeat plan gives you another chance to talk without starting the whole scheduling chat again.
Keep early plans small enough to fit your week. Bring your own lunch to the student center, take a campus walk, or meet before an event you both want to attend. Once you know each other, these ideas for a low-effort hangout can help you keep plans relaxed.
If you plan to study, agree on what you want to work on. Leave a little time to talk before or after. The guide to studying with friends and staying focused covers how to keep schoolwork part of the plan.
Let the friendship grow at its own pace
A first coffee may lead to another plan, or the person may stay a friendly face from class. You will learn more about each other as you spend time together. You do not need to share your whole life story to make a friendship feel real.
Notice how you feel around them. Can you say you are busy, choose a different plan, or disagree about something small? A friendship has room for both people's interests and limits.
If graduation is close, you can still enjoy getting to know someone now. As the semester ends, ask how they like to keep in touch. The time you have together can matter even when your next steps take you to different places.
For today, think of the person you enjoyed talking to after class. Your next message can be about lunch.
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If lunch feels like a big first ask, a smaller fall plan works too. Scrapbooking Ideas for Fall with Your Friends has eight invitation texts to copy and edit, from coffee and a walk to a shared fall list, plus a scrapbook page for each one. Twenty printable pages, $8.
